Storm in Durban

I love this photo - and am exceptionally proud that we managed to capture some lightning.
This was taken opposite Umhlanga Hospital.

Chain Mails

It saddens me that not only are stupid people breeding, but they have email and Internet! Chain mails have become a recent pet peeve of mine. It never ceases to amaze me how long chain mails live for – and how many times people forward the stuff on!

Granted – I have offended a lot of close friends by my opening statement, but, this entry is not aimed at them. It is aimed at all the ignorant people out there who do not question this stuff – perpetuating the cycle, and feeding the evil, chain mail monsters.

Surely a mermaid found in Uganda; plot to kill of white South Africans; a conspiracy to stop Christian programs shown on TV would of generated a lot more buzz – it would have been on the news, in the papers, in magazines and not rely on emails to inform people. But, I suppose that these people don’t watch the news much. Or at all. Ever. Unless of course it’s because their favorite pop star has just committed themselves into rehab, again.

If it’s not some form of protest, it’s some kind of curse – “if you don’t forward this in 3 seconds, you will never have sex again, and be plagued by mutant jelly babies by the name of Bob”. Yip, there’s some kind of “super intelligent email entity” (apart from Google) that keeps track of everything you forward, and will send legions of evil jelly babies to eat you, if you don’t forward these blasted things on. There’s also a monster under your bed.

It is somewhat reassuring though that there are millions of people out there who despise chain mails, and are making a concerted effort to combat them. Check out breakthechain.com, or simply google the mail myth. Far too many people fall victim to chain mails – break the chain, and save yourself the endless frustration.

Durban

In the last three months I have changed jobs (twice); moved (twice). A lot of pretty huge life changing moves, the last two being a move down to Durban, and going back to a company I left.

I have managed to learn some fascinating things over the past three weeks though, during our pre-move planning, and our move. Firstly, water is free in Durban; which is handy in a place where Indian food is practically a staple, and most curries are so hot they could probably eat through a safe door!
Secondly, if you are renting, it is not guaranteed that you will find a place with a stove. There’s no law stating that there has to be a stove, so mini-oven/ two plates sell like hot cakes.
Thirdly, Durban has the biggest and ugliest cockroaches anywhere. They are bigger than most small lap dogs – if one does not have an extreme phobia for the damn buggers, I’m sure that they’d make good, albeit somewhat unsightly pets (kind of like a pug).
Fourthly, there aren’t many decent radio stations – the urge to listen to music from this centenary gets so bad at times that you find yourself wishing for Jacaranda. The choices are very limited: 5fm or Eastcoast radio, and that’s it.

Apart from these few minor adjustments, it was a rather good decision to move down to the coast. The ocean has a rather interesting effect on people – they are so much more relaxed and chilled. People actually stick to the 100 km/h speed limit on the freeway. This could be mainly because speeding fines cost more than the average size house does. There is no rush to get to where you going – unless you have GP number plates, that is.

Even though I have been living in Durban for a week, I can confidently say that the decision to move down here was a good one – now all I have to do is learn to navigate the traffic circles in Umhlanga*.


*Umhlanga must have the most traffic circles per capita on the planet. The vast majority of which can support a small colony of pygmies due to their size.

Taxi!

Everyday on my long, arduous commuting to and from work, I manage to encounter taxis. This is a common, toxic problem in South Africa – something which has possibley reached epidemic proportions in Gauteng.

The vast majority of these ‘vehicles’ could not, by any stretch of the imagination be considered road worthy – there seems to be more duct-tape than actual taxi. Not only does this pose a huge risk to other road users (driving over bits of taxi could damage tyres, and ruin your morning), but is a daily dice with death for the commuters inside.

Apart from the threat of a taxi falling apart in front of you on a busy highway, there is the danger of being mauled by one, as the drivers seem to think that the rules of the road do not apply to them. At all. For them, it is an accepted practice to overtake other cars over solid lines; driving on the verge of the road (one taxi-driver who attempted this, did not meet a happy end. His taxi rolled off an embankment, trapping the people inside); changing lanes without indicating, or without checking to see if there is another car in the way (they seem to hold the opinion that you must move for them, regardless. Even if you are stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, with half a meter in front of you).

But, admittedly, not all taxi drivers are that bad. There is a small handful (very, very, very small) who could serve as examples to the rest of use. They keep their taxis in immaculate condition – a sense of pride emanates from them. They are courteous road users, and obey the rules of the road, such as stopping at a red robot. I have, sadly, only ever encountered two such taxis. It would be nice if there were more of them.

Happy thoughts

This is an attempt to bring some colour into this rather bleak office (nothing’s more gloomy than cold concrete floors and bare pre-fab walls) to which I am currently confined. I thought it was a rather nice happy picture, and since I have been recently accused of being morbid - and was told bluntly that there is something wrong with me, as everything I post is apparently depressing. I, naturally, disagree. Not everything is morbid and depressing. But, my continual protesting only led to further aggravation and insult. It is one thing to critique someone’s work, calling it morbid – but I feel generally offended by the comment that there is something wrong with me.

What would then constitute normal writing, from a normal person? Endless lines of prose on my thoughts on rainbows and sunflowers? Long, flowing articles on cute little bunny-rabbits? I don’t like rabbits much – I caught a flesh-eating virus from my pet rabbit as a kid. I personally find this form of normal subject matter all rather insipid. Personally, I don’t think that there are that many people out there, above the age of seven, who would find it riveting stuff.

Some of the most amazing pieces of literature written by the most talented authors and poets explore the bleaker side of the human psyche, and cover morbid subject matter. These have so much appeal, because longing and suffering are universal themes. They emphasise terrible atrocities committed during wars, and in everyday life – reaching out across cultural barriers. I seriously doubt a poem about happy bunnies would have the same effect.

While I can only aspire to write such brilliant works, I find the comment that there is something wrong with me greatly offensive. If being considered normal is to write garbage, then I would rather stick to my “morbid” thoughts.

Monday

Mondays are the most appalling and completely horrendous way to start a week – especially if it leaves you feeling like the burnt out end of a cigarette. Luckily though, my Monday is not that bad (it’s hardly ever that bad anymore… suppose I should start partying harder). But this picture does seem to adequately express my general thoughts on the whole matter – T.S. Eliot’s Preludes springs to mind.

But, as much as I hate this dreaded day, I suppose it does have some things going for it. Being the eternal optimist, I’d like to see it as a brand new week, burgeoning with promise and possibility. It’s a new week – nothing has gone wrong… yet. Besides, we wouldn’t appreciate weekends and Fridays as much if we didn’t have a rather horrid day making us wish it was eternally weekend.

Seeing as this is not a perfect world, and there are such things as Mondays in existence, I suppose I should get back to work. Work and Mondays are the most appalling and completely horrendous way to start a week.

Fresh start

After much complaining about how much my present job really and truly sucks, I went out in search of a new one. Answering ads in the paper, scanning the web…. And finally after a week of almost dedicated searching, I had an interview. A second interview followed, and I start next month!

Pretty excited about that. I really cannot stand to work much longer at my current job – there is absolutely no intellectual stimulation. I feel my brain has atrophied…. I’m slowly turning into a stupid person here….

Let’s hope that this new job will end up being slightly more stimulating, with better opportunities!

Stupid.....

After lengthy consideration, and countless occasions of severe annoyance, I have reached to conclusion that stupid people should NOT under any circumstances be allowed to breed! Not only do these people really irk me, and the fact that they are a financial drain, but they are brining the collective intelligence of the human race down to that of foot fungus.

Granted, in the past few centuries there have been amazing technological breakthroughs, but you have to wonder what future we as a species might have, if fast-food companies have to put warning labels on their products stating that it could make you fat, or a chainsaw company placing a warning label instructing not to stop the chain with hands or genitals. If you’re stupid enough to try stop a chainsaw using your genitals, then you don’t deserve to have genitals! At least then the rest of us can rest assured that there will be no unfortunate offspring with your hazardous IQ.

What has prompted me to post this was not just concern for my fellow intelligent human beings out there, in an attempt to spare them countless hours of near-fatal frustration; but to voice my annoyance at the sheer stupidity of some people. People who do not know how to operate a computer should not be allowed near one. Ever. Not under any circumstances. Important files, folders, programs, printers are all at risk from being deleted! Or worse… (I really do not want to finish that thought right now).

The pollution of our gene pool must come to an end!

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